Falling off the wagon...

...or is it on the wagon? I've never been quite sure what that expression means. Does being "on the wagon" mean you're abstaining or indulging?

Anyways, as you probably already know, I've been extremely stressed out about a situation at school. It was completely awful, not only because the situation itself was crappy, but also because I was losing precious time to work on my thesis while it was all getting sorted out. It used to be that one unproductive day would ruin my week, so you can imagine what one unproductive month did for my sanity. If you're not sure what all the stress is about, go back to this post.

In an attempt to stay sane, I've been trying hard to stay physically healthy though yoga, good food and a steady dose of organic vegies and fruits, even doing the Kath-challenge, thinking that all this healthyness would spill over into my mental health. Well, this past weekend, when I was finally able to see that I was getting close to a solution, my head started saying: no more need for all this healthy stuff, time to celebrate in food-form. Listen to this: I picked up some 5-fruit bread from Shepherd's Bakehouse and ate it almost continuously throughout the weekend, toasted, with butter and honey.

omigod, it was soooo good, there were big chunks of dates in it that got all melty after it was toasted. mmmmm. I also had big bowls of chips on Friday night and Sunday night, (I would normally stop after a small handful - I usually save my calories for something in chocolate form, as I'm not much of a salty-snack fan). And this morning, pancakes slathered in maple syrup.

So now my thesis problems are over, we've settled on a solution, and I can get back at it. I am so relieved. Except that now I feel fat and guilty about all those chips, and I'm craving more chips (as you do once you start eating all that yummy stuff).

There be dragons

We got this gorgeous dragon fruit in our fruit & vegie basket last week. Gus thought the colour and name of the fruit was very cool. It was my first dragon fruit (I've been eyeing them in the markets for a while but haven't been brave enough to pick one up). It was delish. Sweet, but mild. Kinda watermelon-ish. Gus thought it tasted like dragon, and ate up most of it. I guess dragonflesh is tasty.

Stormy weather

It's been storming here for what seems like a whole week. It's been raining alot, with torrential downpours at night and we've had these huge winds. The ocean by our place has been looking like something out of The Perfect Storm. But today, the sun was out and the wind's died down, and the surfers were back out this afternoon after having stayed away for the past few days.

The meaning of life

Recently, I've been trying to find a better balance in my life as a way of keeping my PhD woes in check. The idea is that if I have a broader focus on all the things that I value, love and enjoy, that I'll be better able to deal with any stresses that I'm having on the school side of things (btw: I owe this attempt at a new outlook on life from 7 Habits, which I'm really getting into). So, as part of this broader focus, I've decided that I'm going to take up meditation. I've known a lot of people who swear by it, and I've been meaning to integrate it into my life for some time now. I'm still trying to sort out where to fit it into my daily schedule (ideally, I'd like to do it in the morning before I head off to school, but this might cut into my yoga time...). As a first step I dowloaded some guided meditation podcasts. I'm pretty stoked about it, especially since I noticed that one of the first meditations is called "The meaning of life"! Ha! Who knew the meaning of life was just a podcast away?

Also this week, I started ordering bread through the Thoughtful Foods co-op. If you know me at all, you'll know that I have a weakness for all things baked, most especially good bread. I'm not talking about those sad loaves of bread you pick up at the grocery store, I'm talking straight-out-of-the-oven artisan bread with a crusty outside and light, chewy inside. Unfortunately, in Sydney, bread - like everything else - is through-the-roof expensive. A regular, substandard loaf of grocery store bread is about $5! And the good stuff is double that. So you can imagine how pathetically excited I was to discover that my new organic food co-op does bulk orders of bread from Shepherd's Bakehouse. As a co-op member, the prices are reasonable and the breads are phenomenal. For my first order, I picked up a baguette and a blueberry-apple loaf. Gus and I inhaled the blueberry-apple loaf the first night I brought it home, and we're still working away at this amazing baguette. Although Gus bears little physical resemblance to me, I can tell he's got my genes by his love of good bread.

My hero

So today I was having this completely unproductive day at school, and decided I might as well go home and get a few things done around our apartment so that I can salvage the day. But then I remembered that I saw this guy above the door on my way out.

I didn't want to be alone with him, and I didn't feel brave enough to do the old capture and release (which I've done only once before with a huntsman when I was alone with Gus because I wanted to prove to him that women can catch spiders too), so I stayed at school a while longer and got caught up on all my blog reading. When we got home later in the day after Gus' art lessons, Vic, my hero, captured him and set him free.

When we get back to Canada, I will NEVER again complain about any of the bugs I find inside my house.

A PhD in Australia

Since I'm switching gears with this blog, and planning to blog more about my PhD and my day-to-day attempts at staying healthy, you'll need to know a key piece of information about doing a PhD in Australia. There are two options here in oz, you can do a PhD by coursework, or a PhD by research. The latter is the one I'm doing. In Australia, a PhD by research means there is no required coursework whatsoever. This is the "british system" and it means that your 3+ years as a PhD Candidate are spent entirely as you wish, with only 2 major deadlines to meet: submitting your thesis proposal for approval some time at the end of your first year (check), and then submitting a PhD-worthy 70,000+ word thesis at the end. Sure, there are annual reviews and regular meetings with your supervisors, but generally, it is up to the student to keep their act together, stay motivated and stay on track.

Although all that flexibility and time probably sounds like shangri-la to all you 9 to 5 workers out there, I'm here to tell you that it is insane-making, because of these two added factors:

1. Most academics within my section of the University have gone through the British system and as a result have spent 5, 6, or 7+ years working on their PhDs and believe that 3-4 years is just not enough to produce a truly PhD-worthy thesis, and
2. I'm here on a time-limited scholarship and student visa. So when my carefully laid out 3-year plan gets derailed, as it has in these past few weeks, I seem to be the only that seems concerned. Aaargh!

Tonight, my coping mechanism for this insanity involves tea and a tim tam (lately I've been enjoying the hazelnut mousse flavour, which is just about the tastiest thing evah). If you're reading this and you're living in Australia and you haven't tried this version yet, do it! I promise you it'll make everything better for about 10 short but blissful minutes.

Gus likes them too.

Staying sane

I once shared an office with a woman, who was by far, one of the most interesting people I've ever met (she once told me in all sincerity that several people in her neck of the woods had experienced alien encounters!). Not only did she tell interesting stories, but she was a great officemate and friend, kind, generous and open. She had a very laid back vibe, and whenever I would describe a frustrating experience to her, she would say to me (in roughly these words) "you should use this as a learning experience". It was never patronizing in any way, she was just telling me not to dwell on the negative, to learn from it, and move on, as a better person.

So here I am, in the middle of a fairly negative experience with my thesis program, trying to figure out how to learn from it and move on. One way I've decided to do this is by blogging my way through it. My hope is that blog-writing on a daily basis will help keep me motivated to stay healthy - physically and mentally. As before, I'll still blog about the fun things we do in Sydney, and post plenty of pics of Gus for grandparents to view, but I'll also be blogging about the little daily things that are keeping me sane through my PhD insanity.

On a sidenote, I have to show you the breakfast that Vic and Gus made me for mother's day. Check out the chick and acorn Gus put together to keep me company, note the handprint in the toast (handprint-toast is Gus' specialty), and don't miss the frangipani perched on top of my omelette. Beautiful!


Also, I have to say that I am loving our little beach-side suburb these days. It's tiny, with just a few shops and cafes (unlike the nearby trendy Coogee and Bondi beaches). In fact, it's so tiny that yesterday, Vic and I walked down to the only shop that sells newspapers and we started complaining to the owner about how our weekend paper delivery wasn't very consistent. Well, it turns out that the shop owner is also in charge of delivery (oops!). After talking a bit more, we realized that someone was stealing our Saturday paper, and so today the paper was delivered to a more discrete spot in front of our apartment building. Yay for small towns! Our suburb is also home to my favourite coffee shop, which is warm and homey, where the owner knows my name, and where we pick up our organic fruits and vegies. Here's our haul for this week:


And of course, no weekend posting is complete without a few pictures of Gus. Here he is feeding ducks at Centennial Park. Centennial Park is one of my favourite places in Sydney, great for picnics and walks, and where the ducks are almost as big as 7-year olds.